


Don't Let Me Be Gone

by DetSoleado



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Abduction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Pain, Pre-Relationship, Save Sonny, Slow Burn, Sonny needs a hug, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 19:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12115833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DetSoleado/pseuds/DetSoleado
Summary: A simple undercover operation in a sex trafficking ring goes horribly wrong.Can the team save Sonny on time?





	1. I'm a Goner

**Author's Note:**

> Rape/Non-Con is not in this chapter, but I thought it best to add the tag for later. Work will be continued as and when is possible.

It was just going to be another undercover operation. Same as any other. Sonny wasn’t even worried about them by this point. He’d been a part of so many that it was just like another day at the office.

“Alright, guys. You all know the drill; stay close, stay safe. We see the deal go down, and we move in. Got it?” Olivias voice rung through the silence, each and every pair of eyes focused on her, while her eyes became focused on Fin and Sonny. “You two keep it by the book. Last thing we want is something happening to you.”

“We got it, Lieu. Don’t worry.” 

Fin gave a nod as Sonny spoke, Staten Island accent somewhat thicker than normal. One of the younger detectives’ undercover tactics to make him seem more ‘human’. Playing a part, as it were. It helped make the job easier, or so he told himself.

He stood dressed in regular street clothes. Nothing too flashy, but far from scruffy, with his hair more of a mop of fluff instead of the regular slicked back style. The innocence it conveyed was usually a more preferred look, and lucky for Sonny, he could pull it off. He looked young. Far younger than he was, with his shoulders slouched just so to emphasise it. If there was one thing the detective had mastered in his years at Manhattan SVU, it was how to perfect any persona for this very purpose. 

Fin was just as impressive, dressed in a flashy, almost over the top suit, weighed down with fake gold jewellery. Chains, rings, even a single hoop dangling from his right ear. He looked every part the pimp he was impersonating. Eerily so. And Sonny? Well, he was his most prized asset. His best boy.

The whole thing was set up to be a ‘show and tell’ of sorts. Fin would show Sonny off, make a deal with the top dog of the trafficking ring, and they’d move in for the bust. Easy in, easy out. Nothing too risky. Heck, the riskiest part would be the fact that they were in the Bronx for the whole sting. But neither of them were particularly worried. 

“Right, everyone else, suit up and get ready. You two,” The Lieutenant pointed between Fin and Sonny, voice dropping just an octave, “be careful. I’ll text when we’re in position.”

Both men gave a curt nod, Fin clapping Sonny on the back before heading out of the precinct. Normally they’d split up from the squad closer to wherever the operation was going down, but these guys were good. They didn’t take risks, so this time, they’d get there on their own.

Sonny was about to follow, when he heard the distinct clearing of a throat sounding behind him, causing him to spin on his heel, and come face to face with their ADA; Rafael Barba. And damn if his chest didn’t flutter just the smallest little bit. Not that he’d mention it. That was not a route he wanted to go down right now, lest he be snarked at worse than ever in his entire time in the squad. And in front of them all no less. Not a chance.

“Uh… Councellor. Everything alright? I kinda gotta go, you know?” 

He had to, didn’t mean he wanted to right this second. As much as it was torture, he couldn’t help scraping every minute he could with the ADA, like some teenager with a silly little crush. Which he’d never act on. That kind of rejection was something he couldn’t handle.

“Nothing is wrong, Detective. Just want to remind you not to try any heroics. We need an iron clad case for these guys.” 

And that was Barbas code for ‘be careful’. As close as he’d ever get to it, anyway. He’d taken an odd liking to the detective, but refused to ever admit to it. Refused to admit he treasured the back and forth snark they’d give each other. Carisi could give as good as he got on a good day, and could still dish it out on a bad day. 

“Don’t worry, Barba. I ain’t got a suicidal streak. Unlike some.” Sonny gave a ghost of a smirk, hand nudging the smaller mans shoulder before pulling himself away. Reluctantly.

Barba could only stare at his back, an impressed smirk pulling at his own lips as his head gave an incredulous shake. He knew Carisi would come through, as would Fin. Now? It was just a waiting game…

_______

While Barba paced his office at 1 Hogan Place, the team was already in position. Olivia, Amaro, and Rollins patiently waiting in a surveillance van a block way, with the SWAT team ready to move. Fin and Carisi were approaching the apartment, already ‘in character’ with their minds set on the job.

“Do I really gotta wear this thing?” Carisi tugged at the collar around his neck, the leather scratching at his skin.

“Yes, you do. One, it has a camera in it, and two, it’s like… your ownership badge.” Fin grimaced at his own words, an apologetic smile on his lips aimed at the younger detective.

“Fine. But you owe me a drink later.”

“Alright, I got you. Let’s just get this over with. You ready?”

Fin slipped his arm around Sonnys shoulders when the tall blond gave a curt nod, hand squeezing tight in a show of reassurance. The older detective was not to let him out of his sight, and should all go to plan, the whole operation would be done with in less than a half hour. Easy, right?

They approached the door and both were ready, Fin giving off an air of authority, and Sonny trying to make himself look somewhat shy and insignificant. Which was actually easier than one would imagine, considering his towering height. Sonny had mastered the innocent look. The quiet demeanour. The puppy dog eyes just begging for acceptance. It worked like a charm. And it was put to the test after Fin pressed the buzzer, and a minute later the door swung open to reveal the sight of a heavy set man with overgrown facial hair. He had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, which curved into a devious grin as he raked his eyes up and down Sonny from head to toe, stopping to stare at the collar around his neck.

“Ah, you must be Big G. Come on in. We’ve been expecting you.” God he sounded as sleazy as he looked, Sonny thought. Barely holding back a shudder.

“I would hope so. I don’t make deals with my best boy for nothing.” Fin emphasised his words with a pat on Sonnys shoulder, “Go on, sunshine. Follow the man in.”

And Carisi did, hands shoving into his pockets as he stepped inside the dark apartment with Fin right at his heels. Instantly there were about twenty pairs of eyes on him, some young girls, some young guys, but mostly older men staring with want in their eyes. There wasn’t supposed to be this much people, and it set him on edge. 

“You workin’ tonight, baby boy?” One of the men mused as he walked right up to Sonny, his hand reaching out to slide up the Detectives arm.

“No, he’s not. Hands off the goods, fella.” Fin stepped between them, gently easing the mans hand away, while arching a brow in a ‘back off’ sort of look.

“Relax, big guy. Just let me know when he is. I like ‘em tall and scrawny.” The leer on his face made Sonnys stomach churn, feeling his eyes boring on him like a hot laser. It was unnerving to say the least.

“Take it easy, boys. We’re just having a look tonight. Clearly he’s a hit, so why don’t we go talk, Big G? Come to some kind of deal, huh?” And there was the guy they were after. 

The top dog, as it were. The ringleader. At least the team would be able to move in soon, and Sonny and Fin could relax. Even if they’d have to make a show of being arrested with the rest of them. The op wasn’t going -exactly- to plan, but they weren’t far off. That was until Fin was being lured away from Sonny, strong hands trying to urge him over to a quiet corner. Sonny tried to weave his way through the crowds of people, managing with a little difficulty at first, but managing nonetheless. 

But something didn’t feel right. Unease gripped at his stomach like an ice cold vice. He could feel eyes on him constantly, could almost feel the heat radiating off of the bodies around him. He tried not to look, just kept his eyes on Fin as he got closer to him. Then a hand on his elbow stopped him, pulled him back while another clamped around his mouth before he could shout out to his friend, and colleague. Shit. He couldn’t see Fin. Tall, broad bodies blocked his view while the man who held him dragged him away. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was not good. This couldn’t be happening.

He tried to fight, yanked at his arms, and kicked out, but he couldn’t shake him off. Couldn’t break free. His attempts to escape were only met with a sinister laugh, the mans grip tightening while another ripped the collar from his neck. And fuck, that stung. Sonny drew in a sharp breath through his nose, almost choking on the smell of cigarette smoke, and whiskey that filled his senses.

“Oh, got us a feisty one here. I like that. Guess we’ll have to break you in, sunshine.” 

Come on, guys. Where were they? Where was Fin?

Sonny began to panic, heart hammering in his chest like a bird fluttering its wings against his ribcage. But he still couldn’t call out. Couldn’t move away. And before he could even try and get a glance around, he was roughly shoved through a door, and all but dragged down a set of stairs. The basement. Surely they couldn’t get anywhere from there?

His thought was followed by a ruckus from upstairs, shouts of ‘NYPD, get on the ground!’ echoing in his ears, while the distinct sound of heavy footsteps sounded above his head. 

Relief. They’d find him. He sagged his shoulders slightly, again trying to swing an elbow back at his captor.

“You think they’re gonna find you, sweetheart? I ain’t worried. You’re mine now.” Another deep laugh filled his ears and made him shudder. Why did he sound so confident…?

Sonny got his answer, or as close to one as he could; the man threw him to the ground, Sonnys head smacking against the concrete and drawing a sharp cry from the Detective. His hand cupped the back of his head, and came away covered in wet, sticky blood. He stumbled onto his knees, vision already swimming in and out of focus. But he couldn’t get up, legs like jelly against the hard floor, his hand leaving a bloody print in its wake as he tried to support his weight, and crawl towards the stairs.

“Help! Down here.” His meagre cry was met with another laugh, Carisi hearing that his voice was nowhere near loud enough to be heard over the noise from upstairs.

“Hush now, pretty boy. They can’t hear you anyway…” 

One hand made it onto the bottom step, knuckles turning white with the grip he held on it as he tried to pull himself up.

What he didn’t see, was the butt of a gun swinging towards the back of his head. Carisi only felt it, the initial sharpness of pain ebbing its way across his skull. Throbbing. Pulsing. He couldn’t keep his eyes open. He fought. Breaths harsh and laboured. Every word he tried to force out was like a slur, amidst low moans of agony. Blood trickled down his neck, warm, and thick. And blackness crept into his vision, slowly, like a curtain sweeping in from the corners of his eyes. And one single tear rolled down his cheek before everything turned dark, body becoming weightless and collapsing against the hard floor beneath him…


	2. Somebody Catch My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team rush in, and react to what's happened.
> 
> Benson updates Barba.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings do not apply to this chapter. Much thanks for the kudos, and comments. I probably won't post the next chapter as quickly, but I was inspired and excited. Enjoy.

Benson knew something was wrong the second they lost the feed from Carisis body cam, panic welling in her gut, though she covered it up pretty well. Her chest tightened nonetheless as she spoke into the walkie talkie clutched in her right hand, knuckles whitening with her tight grip.

“Something is wrong. Move in. Now!”

She exited the van alongside Amaro and Rollins, the three of them rushing towards the apartment, and reaching the top of the steps as the SWAT team knocked the door off its hinges. 

“NYPD, get on the ground.” Her voice bellowed through the sound of scrambling feet and shouts of profanity, easily heard above it all.

Each of the unis moved swiftly, along with her Detectives, cuffing the johns swiftly while she attempted to calm the obvious sex workers and stop them from running.

“It’s alright, you’re safe now. Just take it easy, and we’ll get you out of here soon.” Her voice was softer. Gentler, eyes casting a glance around the room.

She briefly caught Fins eye while he was being cuffed, her Sergeant making a show of annoyance for the benefit of every other john in the apartment. But he looked worried. Clear regret in his eyes when it became obvious that there was no sign of Carisi. Benson decided not to panic too much yet, a swift move of her hand to signal to Rollins and Amaro.

“Sweep the rest of the rooms. Make sure we didn’t miss anything.”

“On it, Lieu.” Rollins’ voice was tinged with worry, both of the Detectives hastily moving to check the rest of the apartment.

She herself shuffled through the large lounge towards the kitchen, the brush of something against her shoe catching her attention. Brows furrowed as she dropped her gaze, stomach lurching at the sight of what had caused the disturbance in her step; Carisis improvised body cam. The collar. It had clearly been harshly ripped off, the silver buckle at the back of it broken, and when she bent to pick it up -after pulling a glove from her pocket-, she couldn’t even hope to deny that there was a speck of blood on it.

“I need an evidence bag. Get this to CSU now, and get a match for fingerprints. DNA. Anything.” The Lieutenant wasn’t able to mask the worry in her voice, dropping it into the bag that was promptly held out to her.

“Yes, Ma’am.” The uni responded, before rushing out the door. 

Now she was very worried. A sweat slicked palm brushing through already dishevelled hair, while a shaky breath forced its way out of her lungs.

Carisi was in trouble. They’d been here at least fifteen minutes, and there was no sign of him. Benson couldn’t help but blame herself. Always did whenever a member of her squad was put in dangers way, and came away hurt. ‘Part of the job’ they’d say, but it never got easier.

“LIEU! We got something. You’re gonna wanna see this.” Amaros voice seemed far away, even with the volume he called out at.

“Nick? Where are you?”

“Basement. Just off the kitchen.” His reply came, along with clipped footsteps against the stairs.

Benson followed the open plan entryway, past the kitchen, meeting the Detective at the open door. She was almost apprehensive about descending the stairs, fearful of what she’d fine, especially since Amaro looked almost shaken.

“What is it?”

“Just… It’s not good. Come on.” Nicks tone was clipped. Sharp. Dripping with an apology that he couldn’t bring himself to mutter.

The Lieutenant followed apprehensively, holding her breath while descending the stairs behind the young, dark haired detective. There wasn’t much light in the cold room, making her shiver slightly. Though she suspected it wasn’t just from the temperature. What was that saying? That someone had ‘walked over your grave’. That’s what it felt like. And it left her uneasy.

Her hand instantly flew up to clamp over her mouth when her eyes finally adjusted to the light, the unmistakable sight of a bloody handprint as clear as day on the concrete floor, not too far from a small pool of the sanguine fluid.

“Oh god. Get… Sweep this god damn basement. Find them. They couldn’t have gone far.” Olivias voice was more strained now, and she didn’t bother trying to hide it. 

It was pointless. Now they were all on edge, and on a race against time. Bodies filled the basement, all careful not to disturb what little evidence they had. After a swarm of unis came down, CSU followed, immediately getting to work in examining, and taking samples and photographs of the blood.

Olivia felt sick, and though she didn’t want to, she forced herself to climb the stairs and exit the apartment. It didn’t take her long to locate Fin after the cool air hit flushed skin, muttering to the uni who gripped his arm that she’d take over.

“I was too late, Fin. I don’t…” Benson drew in a sharp breath, thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of her nose while she attempted to calm herself. 

“It’s not your fault,” he cut her off, keeping his voice low, and his head down. _‘It’s mine.’_ went unsaid, though it was on the tip of his tongue. “Carisi is a fighter. Whatever happened, he’ll pull through. We’ll find him.” He mused instead, voice as confident as he could make it.

____________

The squad and the SWAT team searched for what felt like hours, cars leaving to take the johns and vics alike to the precinct in a slow trickle until only a couple of squad cars remained, the SVU team with them. Seeing as a member of their squad was missing, they’d been the last to leave the apartment. And though Benson hoped for some good news, or at least something that wasn’t bad, it never came.

The whole basement had been combed, and they’d almost missed it; a hidden door. Or, not so much a door, as a large hole on the wall with a makeshift door crudely covering it. Tucked away in a dark corner. Even though she was sure it was barely big enough to fit Carisis lanky fame, they’d found more blood. Just a haphazard smudge on the edge of it, but it was definitely fresh. 

With not much else physically possible at the scene for the team, Benson ordered them back to the precinct, leaving instructions for the unis, and CSU to update her on any little thing that might help. Amaro had already called in what happened, much to Olivias appreciation. Chief Dodds assuring the Detective that all units were on the look-out, and security footage from the area was being pulled immediately. And that they’d already recovered Carisis body cam footage. A small consolation, at least. Maybe they’d at least find out who had taken him before the night was through. Not that any of them would be going home in the near future. Not until their fellow Detective was found.

The three of them split into two squad cars, Amaro and Rollins in one, Benson in the other. Before she pulled out of the spot the vehicle was parked in, she dug out her cell and thumbed the passcode in, screen lighting up and showing a picture of the whole squad together with the kids. Rollins, Amaro, Fin, Barba, Noah, Jesse, herself, and Carisi, whose smile was the biggest of all occupants of the photograph. She cleared her throat quietly as she pulled up her contacts list, quickly coming to their ADAs number and pressing her thumb against the screen, then lifting the speaker to her ear.

It didn’t ring long before he answered, his sharp tone clipped on the other end. 

_“Lieutenant. You have an update?”_

She tried to keep her tone calm, though she was sure Barba would see right through it.

_“Barba. Uh… Yeah, sort of. Can you come by the precinct? We’re on our way back there now. We have the guy we wanted, but there was… Just meet us there.”_

Of course Barba could instantly tell something was wrong, brows creasing as he paced his office, stopping at his couch and scooping up his briefcase and coat.

_“On my way, Liv.”_

It was all he’d managed to choke out, voice sharper than he meant it before he hung up and rushed out of his office.

The uneasy feeling from earlier in the evening returned with a vengeance, making him wish he’d had another drink before he’d taken the call. 

_________

By the time Barba had reached the precinct, it was bustling with cops and perps alike, holding cells fit to burst, and loud chatter filling his ears while he took a long glance around the room. The trafficked sex workers were being taken care of in one of the more comfortable interview rooms, and for a second, Barba almost felt out of place. Overwhelmed.

He decided to take refuge in Olivias office, briefly catching a glimpse of Fin as he was herded through the precinct in cuffs. Standard procedure in an undercover operation, so he didn’t think much of it. But in an instinctual move, his eyes gave another scan of the bodies milling around, subconsciously searching for the tall, skinny Detective with tousled blond hair. The uneasy feeling churned in his gut when he couldn’t place his eyes on him, head snapping left and right, while internally trying to convince himself that there were just too much people around to get a good look.

Just as he was battling with his dangerous thoughts, his long-time friends voice sounded from the other end of the squad room, the ADA exiting her office to greet her, and the rest of the team. 

Carisi would be with them. 

He wasn’t.

Barba deflated slightly, worry creasing his brow as lips pressed in a tight line.

“Liv… What’s going on? Where is Detective Carisi?” The question came before he could stop it, his tone of voice betraying him slightly.

Though if she noticed, she didn’t react to it.

“That’s why I wanted to meet you here,” She held her arm out, signalling him to re-enter her office as she followed in behind him, and closed the door.

“Spit it out, Lieutenant. What happened?” Barba all but spat, drawing in a breath to calm himself while rubbing his temple and offering an apologetic look. 

Benson lifted a hand to her mouth, covering the hitch in her voice as dark, pained eyes looked over the ADA. “There was an incident. More johns than we were expecting. Carisi… Carisi got separated from Fin.”

Olivia leaned against the door for support, hand pushing through her, by now, very messy hair before continuing, “We found his body cam. Broken. Forcibly removed. Then in the basement… There was blood.”

The Lieutenant had managed to keep her composure throughout the whole ordeal, but now in the privacy of her own office, with someone she considered a very good friend, she began to crack.

“He’s missing, Barba. I was too slow. I should have reacted faster. I…”

A million thoughts buzzed through Barbas mind in that moment, chest tightening, and a fresh wave of nausea forcing him to drop onto one of the chairs across the large oak desk in the room. Carisi was missing. Abducted. Hurt. The normally quick on the ball ADA could barely form a thought, let alone a response. His gut twisted, cold dread gripping him to his very core as a plethora of scenarios began to play out in his mind.

He couldn’t let that. Not now. 

But god, he couldn’t help it. His last comment already coming back to haunt him, _‘Just want to remind you not to try any heroics. We need an iron clad case for these guys.’_

He’d made it sound like he cared more about the case against these pieces of scum than Carisis safety, and that gnawed at him deeper than he ever thought possible. He’d only said anything to the young Detective because he cared. He cared a lot more than he’d even admitted to himself, which was now obvious with the way fear and worry clouded every passing thought.

It took a minute, but eventually he forcibly dragged himself out of his thoughts, and stood before striding over to Olivias side. His motions were gentle as he guided her over to one of the chairs, helping her sit on the plush leather and re-taking the chair he’d occupied a mere minute before, his hand remaining comfortably against her arm.

“We can’t think the worst right now, Liv. Carisi is a good Detective. Smart. Strong. He’ll get through whatever this is, and I know you’ll find him.”

Was he convincing himself, or the Lieutenant? Right then that answer would probably be both. As much as he wanted to believe that Carisi was safe, he couldn’t help but fear the possibility that he wasn’t. But he was the voice of reason. The one who never got emotionally attached to people. The one who could be as objective as possible in the face of such circumstances. 

Or at least, he used to be. Not with Car… Not with Sonny. Not anymore.

Barba was scared. For the first time in many years, he was truly terrified of losing someone. Someone who didn’t even know that he cared…


End file.
